WHAT DO I DO WITH MY TEENAGER? All parents of teenagers are concerned about two things: the safety of their kids and their relationship with their kids. Adolescent safety is part of a big social problem, while parentteen relationships represent a big family
What’s the big social problem? Before today is over, for example, 1100 teenage girls will become pregnant without wanting to, 18 people will die in auto accidents involving 15‐19‐year olds, and four percent of high school seniors will continue to drink daily.
What’s the family problem? At the family dinner table tonight, thousands of moms and dads will ask their 16‐year‐old daughters the age‐old question, “How was your day?” The answer will be “Fine.” “What did you do?” “Nothin’.” Mom and dad are being snubbed. They feel rejected, hurt, and irritated, but they don’t know what to do about it. The Snub makes parents feel like they’re beating their heads against a brick wall.
WHAT’S THE GOOD NEWS? That’s the bad news. What’s the good news? The good news is that both problems—the family problem and the social problem—have the same solution, and that solution is described clearly in Dr. Phelan’s New 3rd Edition of Surviving Your Adolescents: How to Manage—And Let Go Of—Your 13‐18 Year Olds. According to Dr. Phelan, when parents find the answer to the dinnertime Snub, they will also be striking a huge blow toward reducing the cumulative societal tragedies that result from teen risk‐taking in the areas of driving, drugs, sex and technology.
Research has told us for years that there is a strong connection between parent/teen relationships and adolescent safety. The more open and friendly the relationship, the less likely the kids are to get hurt. A parent’s tricky job is how to stay in touch with a teenager, provide reasonable monitoring of his activities, and—at the same time— respect his ferocious desire to run his own life.
To solve this problem, Dr. Phelan offers a five‐part job description to parents of teens. Parents’ ability to master the suppertime Snub starts with transforming their own attitude toward their teenagers. How? By really appreciating adolescence for what it is and by remembering what their own adolescence was like years ago. These insights will allow moms and dads to go on to comfortably establish house rules, when necessary, and will also allow them to stay in touch with the kids through strategies like listening, praise, talking about oneself and shared fun.
IMAGINE A COMFORTABLE COEXISTENCE WITH YOUR TEENAGER Imagine not only peaceful but comfortable coexistence with your teenager. Imagine feeling like you know what you’re doing as the parent of an adolescent. And imagine 25 million teens in this country who are less likely to get hurt themselves as well as less likely to hurt others.
Where do you start? Dr. Phelan suggests you begin by remembering your own teen years. Your next task is to never again inquire, “How was your day?” of your adolescent. “Well what am I supposed to say then?” you ask. To find out, get a copy of Surviving Your Adolescents, remember to take care of yourself, and enjoy the movie!
Simple, straightforward parenting advice and helpful tips from Dr. Phelan's award-winning, best-selling 1-2-3 Magic Parenting Program.